An American tourist shares hilarious observations on England | iVisits

An American tourist shares hilarious observations on England

If you’ve ever needed  a detailed breakdown of the key cultural differences between the Britis and Americans, look no further.

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Scott Waters,a 66-year-old artist and photographer from Florida went on a recent trip to Cornwall, England.His trip wasn’t just fun – it was educational.

So educational, in fact,on his return he decided to share his observations on the country in a hilariously random Facebook post. It was his fourth time visiting, and he wanted to let his friends know exactly what they were missing out on!

I was in England again a few weeks ago, mostly in small towns, but here’s some of what I noticed:* Almost everyone is…

Posted by Scott Waters on Thursday, September 24, 2015

Granted, it’s a bit long-winded, but bear with it, it’s worth the read. From every pub having a pet drunk to our tea being f*cking delicious, he’s got the country absolutely spot on.

Apparently, many people were just as wide-eyed about England as he was. How much of Waters’ info did you already know?

Here’s the full list of everything he observed, enjoy!

  • Almost everyone is very polite
  • The food is generally outstanding
  • There are no guns
  • There are too many narrow stairs
  • Everything is just a little bit different
  • The pubs close too early
  • The reason they drive on the left is because all their cars are built backwards
  • Pubs are not bars, they are community living rooms.
  • You’d better like peas, potatoes and sausage
  • Refrigerators and washing machines are very small
  • Everything is generally older, smaller and shorter
  • People don’t seem to be afraid of their neighbors or the government
  • Their paper money makes sense, the coins don’t
  • Everyone has a washing machine but driers are rare
  • Hot and cold water faucets. Remember them?
  • Pants are called “trousers”, underwear are “pants” and sweaters are “jumpers”
  • The bathroom light is a string hanging from the ceiling
  • “Fanny” is a naughty word, as is “shag”
  • All the signs are well designed with beautiful typography and written in full sentences with proper grammar.
  • There’s no dress code
  • Doors close by themselves, but they don’t always open
  • They eat with their forks upside down
  • The English are as crazy about their gardens as Americans are about cars
  • They don’t seem to use facecloths or napkins or maybe they’re just neater then [sic] we are
  • The wall outlets all have switches, some don’t do anything
  • There are hardly any cops or police cars
  • 5,000 year ago, someone arranged a lot of rocks all over, but no one is sure why
  • When you do see police they seem to be in male & female pairs and often smiling
  • Black people are just people: they didn’t quite do slavery here
  • Everything comes with chips, which are French fries. You put vinegar on them
  • Cookies are “biscuits” and potato chips are “crisps”
  • HP sauce is better then catsup
  • Obama is considered a hero, Bush is considered an idiot.
  • After fish and chips, curry is the most popular food
  • The water controls in showers need detailed instructions
  • They can boil anything
  • Folks don’t always lock their bikes
  • It’s not unusual to see people dressed different and speaking different languages
  • Your electronic devices will work fine with just a plug adapter
  • Nearly everyone is better educated then we are
  • If someone buys you a drink you must do the same
  • There are no guns
  • Look right, walk left. Again; look right, walk left. You’re welcome.
  • Avoid British wine and French beer
  • It’s not that hard to eat with the fork in your left hand with a little practice. If you don’t, everyone knows you’re an American
  • Many of the roads are the size of our sidewalks
  • There’s no AC
  • Instead of turning the heat up, you put on a jumper
  • Gas is “petrol”, it costs about $6 a gallon and is sold by the liter
  • If you speed on a motorway, you get a ticket. Period. Always
  • You don’t have to tip, really!
  • Scotland, Wales, Ireland and Cornwall really are different countries
  • Only 14% of Americans have a passport, everyone in the UK does
  • You pay the price marked on products because the taxes (VAT) are built in
  • Walking is the national pastime
  • Their TV looks and sounds much better then ours
  • They took the street signs down during WWII, but haven’t put them all back up yet
  • Everyone enjoys a good joke
  • There are no guns
  • Dogs are very well behaved and welcome everywhere
  • There are no window screens
  • You can get on a bus and end up in Paris
  • Everyone knows more about our history then we do
  • Radio is still a big deal. The BBC is quite good
  • The newspapers can be awful
  • Everything costs the same but our money is worth less so you have to add 50% to the price to figure what you’re paying
  • Beer comes in large, completely filled, actual pint glasses and the closer the brewery the better the beer
  • Butter and eggs aren’t refrigerated
  • The beer isn’t warm, each style is served at the proper temperature
  • Cider (alcoholic) is quite good.
  • Excess cider consumption can be very painful.
  • The universal greeting is “Cheers” (pronounced “cheeahz” unless you are from Cornwall, then it’s “chairz”)
  • The money is easy to understand: 1-2-5-10-20-50 pence, then-£1-£2-£5-£10, etc bills. There are no quarters.
  • Their cash makes ours look like Monopoly money
  • Cars don’t have bumper stickers
  • Many doorknobs, buildings and tools are older than America
  • By law, there are no crappy, old cars
  • When the sign says something was built in 456, they didn’t lose the “1”
  • Cake is is pudding, ice cream is pudding, anything served for desert is pudding, even pudding
  • BBC 4 is NPR
  • Everything closes by 1800 (6pm)
  • Very few people smoke, those who do often roll their own
  • You’re defined by your accent
  • No one in Cornwall knows what the hell a Cornish Game Hen is
  • Soccer is a religion, religion is a sport
  • Europeans dress better then the British, we dress worse
  • The trains work: a three minute delay is regrettable
  • Drinks don’t come with ice
  • There are far fewer fat English people
  • There are a lot of healthy old folks around participating in life instead of hiding at home watching tv
  • If you’re over 60, you get free tv and bus and rail passes.
  • They don’t use Bose anything anywhere
  • Displaying your political or religious affiliation is considered very bad taste
  • Every pub has a pet drunk
  • Their healthcare works, but they still bitch about it
  • Cake is one of the major food groups
  • Their coffee is mediocre but their tea is wonderful
  • There are still no guns
  • Towel warmers!
  • Cheers

(H/T:BlazeWeek.com)

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